Why is it so hard to be a caregiver?
Hello, I’m Patrick Palmer, an author, cancer research advocate, and a caregiver to my late wife. Caring is much harder than people think. Often, especially on good days, people find it effortless and assume caregiving is not that much fuss. But it hurts even more when these doubts come from someone close to you. Therefore, in this blog, we’ll explain to you all why caregiving is so hard and the realities a caregiver faces every day.
Challenges faced by caregivers
Isolation
Caregiving can make you feel disconnected from the outside world. More time and energy spent on caring for someone else rarely leave you with time caring for yourself. Most of us assume that as a loved one, it’s our sole responsibility to be there with the patient every time and take all their responsibilities on our shoulders. Although we do this out of love, but it’s completely wrong and in the long run becomes one of the major causes of caregiver’s social isolation.
Stress
Managing the health and daily needs of a loved one can be extremely difficult. There is always something to do, from administering medications to assisting with personal care duties such as dressing and washing. Too much stress over time can harm both your mental and physical health.
Financial burden
Caregiving is often accompanied by financial challenges. You may have to give up work or educational opportunities, which can restrict your income. Furthermore, your income decreases but your expenses increase to fulfill the healthcare cost of your loved one. This financial stress can add additional stress.
Challenges faced by caregivers
Isolation
Caregiving can make you feel disconnected from the outside world. More time and energy spent on caring for someone else rarely leave you with time caring for yourself. Most of us assume that as a loved one, it’s our sole responsibility to be there with the patient every time and take all their responsibilities on our shoulders. Although we do this out of love, but it’s completely wrong and in the long run becomes one of the major causes of caregiver’s social isolation.
Stress
Managing the health and daily needs of a loved one can be extremely difficult. There is always something to do, from administering medications to assisting with personal care duties such as dressing and washing. Too much stress over time can harm both your mental and physical health.
Financial burden
Caregiving is often accompanied by financial challenges. You may have to give up work or educational opportunities, which can restrict your income. Furthermore, your income decreases but your expenses increase to fulfill the healthcare cost of your loved one. This financial stress can add additional stress.
Impact on relationships
Caregiving can put a strain on your relationship with your spouse or parent. As your loved one’s care needs increase, so will the time and effort required by you. This can cause your personal and family needs to be neglected and frustrate you.
Emotional toll
It is emotionally challenging to watch the health of a loved one deteriorate. Sometimes it can be sad to see someone who is healthy and strong lose weight. The fear of losing them or missing the old, healthy loved ones in conditions like Alzheimer’s or dementia can be more stressful than routine care work.
Tips to handle these challenges
Prioritize your well-being
Understanding that your health and happiness are as important as the person you care for is important. This mindset shift is the first step to peace and happiness. While no one will take as good care of your loved one as you do, but if you won’t be healthy yourself, who will take care of you both?
Reach out for assistance
Finding a helping hand can be difficult, but sometimes it’s necessary for caregivers to refresh themselves. Don’t be afraid to ask family and friends for help more than once. People can’t do all the care, but they can help in other ways. For example, a family member may not be able to help with daily care but may be able to prepare meals for the week. Appreciating any help you receive, no matter how small, can motivate others to look for more ways to help you in the future.
Respite care
Try to arrange respite care occasionally and then detach yourself from caregiving completely unless there is an emergency. It’s hard to turn off the caregiver mindset because you’re always in fix-it mode. But try to focus on things that you miss or love to do, if you want to, engage your loved one also so you both can enjoy like before. This technique helps you feel more productive and allows you to disconnect and relax when you’re down.
Engage in joyful activities
When you have time, do something you enjoy. This could be going hiking with a friend, getting a manicure, or relaxing with a massage. Participating in activities that make you joyful can help you stay present and minimize stress, allowing you to withdraw from caregiving chores and enjoy your time off.
Be cautious
Look for these symptoms to get early detection and treatment of stress and anxiety which is unavoidable in caregiving:
- Feeling overwhelmed or anxious
- Being weary
- Sleeping excessively or insufficiently
- Experiencing significant weight changes.
- Being easily irritated or agitated
- Losing interest in formerly enjoyable hobbies
- Experiencing frequent headaches or physical issues.
- Abusing alcohol or narcotics, including prescription prescriptions.
Get emotional support
Join an online support group, contact a good listener, or communicate with a therapist. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can give you much comfort and support during the caregiving journey. Another important way to get emotional support is through reading caregiver books. These books not only share the experiences of other caregivers so you feel better but also provide plenty of useful information and insights on a number of issues faced by caregivers. This way you have a silent friend all the time with you.
I hope that this blog has helped you understand the demanding nature of this role. Remember, you are not alone. We are all with you. Just ask for help, and we are there for you in this rewarding yet challenging job
